Peace be upon all.
With the name of Allah, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.
Yes,that's right.It was the first day of new year 2011 ( and 26 Muharram on Hijr Calendar) and yet this is the first entry for this year.
It has been almost 7 months since mother passed away. On the new year's eve, we had dinner, magrib prayer jemaah, and yaasin recite at Abg Zidni's new apartment in Putrajaya. I remembered the previous housewarming when mother was around which was on Mac 2010. But now, she wasn't here for Abg's second housewarming. I cried during yaasin was recite cause I really-really miss mother. I tried to rewind the first housewarming with her around.
The next morning (new year day), I woke up quite late. I thought everyone has gone to Taman Botani for morning exercises as promise last night at Abg's. But, turns out almost everyone hadn't wake up yet. I woke up feeling weak. Oh no, Adik Asri's fever had passed onto me. It's always like that since I'm the only one who take care of Adik Asri. Since the exercise was canceled, I continue my sleep. I took my tasbih and recite zikr fatimah and reciting AlFatihah each bead dedicated to mother.How I wish she was here to comfort my illness like she used to do. I kept on until I felt asleep. And I had a dream.
I was in my room seating with my sisters Kaklong and Kakngah. Each of us held a paper. We discussing about something and all of sudden the door was opened and mother came in. She sat with us. We were so happy (regardless that time we knew that mother already passed away, but it's like a miracle, something that is impossible to happen). We hugged her, and kiss her as if she was really alive. She didn't move or say a word. That time, we asked for her signature (dunno why). My heart was at the top of the world seeing mother so beautiful, lovely, warm and sweet even in a dream. After a while, father came in and he was quite surprised to see mother there. And I asked him, "can u see?" and he replied "yes, i can". She was there. All of us saw her, even though it was only in my dream. I really-really want to tell her everything that happened for all this while. But then, my eyes were opened shockingly, I was awake due to Azan Zohor from my laptop. It has stopped the dream. I came back to reality world.
Oh mother, thank you for coming into my dream. Oh Allah, thank you for letting me having such dream.
As I try to get up, someone's knocked on my door. It was father asking me how do I felt. My body temperature went down as I was sweating while asleep.
I went downstairs to eat. While I was eating, I approached Adik Asri and asked him whether he had dreams about mother. He said he had. I couldn't help it as my eyes were burst to tears without me noticing that I was actually crying. He said the dream was about him and mother going shopping. I knew, deep down Adik misses his mother so much like I do. I became more emotional as I said "kakya pun ada mimpi mak juga". I cried whilst he was on his way to his room. But he didn't cry at all. I really respect and adored his strength when it comes to mother. YaAllah, let Adik be strong through out his life, and guide him to right path.
I miss mother.I miss her company and her comfort during my illness. and yet, nobody will ever replace her. As if anyone cares that I am at this stage of weakness of fever.
